Can it really be that you and I first met 23 years ago today? I remember being in the Saratoga Annex at CSUMB, listening to the Student Voice representative talk, when something drew my attention to the window.
As I gazed out, your father, and then you, emerged into view. I'll not say my heart leapt. No. It was different than that. It was more like a spark. A spark of memory, a spark of intrigue, a spark of hope - maybe all of them at once.
And why, with that briefest of encounters, that mere 2 or 3 minutes, did I so thoroughly connect with you?
When next I saw you, 4 months later, I had the choice: stop to give you a ride or keep driving. Yes or no. Honestly, it was like my heart and mind both switched off, and I was just suddenly pulling over like the Universe was controlling my car.
And you! You had a choice: insist on walking alone or taking a chance and getting in the car. No or yes. Honestly, I was shocked that you got in the car. It was maybe the first moment in my life that I felt was magical. And, o!, how magical you are.
I know it's not always been magical or even happy, but it has felt divinely guided,; joined destiny in learning how to live in this gritty, unholy world with ourselves and with humanity.
There are days when we are walking, zombie-like, through the hours, or hunched over by the weight of responsibility, taxed of all monies and energies. There are days when we just gaze, dummified, into each other's eyes, aware of our sacred place in time. There are days that are so completely devoted to our child, that we don't even exist but for him. And there are days when we sit, quietly at first and soon blurting out puns or made up words or ideas for a play and set designs and a full-blown production emerges. Then we laugh. And what would life be for us without quoting Shakespeare? We have done that, too, every day we've been together.
My God! How poetically I have waxed, transported by a 2 minute memory; by a man who moves me still; by this mortal coil.
I have no words left in this moment and yet yearn to tell you more. Hear me through the ether, through the cords of existence, "across the water, across the wave".
-Beverly Van Pelt, April 26, 2019